Wow, long title! Sorry. Thanks everyone for their participation in the poetry contest, again, it was good fun. I've been working on anxiety this week, and I've sure had a lot of it to work on. This semester started on Tuesday, and I'm NOT looking forward to it at all!! You don't even know! The only plus side is that one of my teachers (actually two since she teaches two of my classes) looks like Regina Spektor. It's uncanny! Everything from how she looks to how she talks and mannerisms when she is thinking. What's even weirder is that my poetry teacher looks like Marlene of the Atkinson family somehow, and he's a guy. He's a hoot, but he scares me.
Anyways, I only go to class Tuesday and Thursday but Tuesdays I go non stop from 9:10 a.m. till 3:20 p.m. and Thursday I go nonstop from 9:10 a.m. till 5 p.m. :( Then it's home by 5:45, eat dinner, leave at seven for my meeting and volleyball, and I just walked in the door about a half hour ago at 11:45. I'm beat. BUT, I think, with the Lord's help, I should be just fine. I guess that's really all that's new with me. So far no progress on the dating front but I'm not really concerned with that right now. It's weird because I don't really feel like my ward is where I'm going to meet my future wife, but I feel like I'm still supposed to be there... so I'm just waiting to see what happens. *shrugs* Wish me luck. I wanted to thank you all for letting me call you these past couple weeks, it has been nice to be able to talk to some of you one on one, I mean, I see you on Sundays sometimes, but we never really get to talk, so thanks :) Also, thanks for the continuing encouragement and support. I've really come a LONG way since April. Honestly, I can see hope again, and that's something I haven't seen for a long time. I'm still not perfect, but I'm learning that I don't need to be because in this life I never will be, but that I need to try. Someone once said that God doesn't give us struggles so we'll fail, He gives us struggles so we'll succeed. I think that is very true. So, my advice would be, keep struggling, keep fighting, and keep putting your faith in the only being that can help. I've learned more about faith and more about how to turn my will over to the Father in the last 2 months than I have the rest of my life. What a great way to learn, He just throws you in the water, and you'll probably be under for a while, but then you'll surface and try to get to the side and even though it feels like you could slip at any time your legs will start to kick and your arms will start to push and though it might take a while to get to the side of the pool you've learned how to control your breathing, how to do the best you can, and how to trust Him. Amazing. How would you learn that otherwise? Peace out.
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I would always get so nervous going to class at the beginning of the semester, I'd just adjust in time before my first class of the semester to stop at the restroom and barf or crap my pants or whatever. Sick, Misty. But true. It didn't matter how expericenced I got with it. I wanted to throw up when I had to put Zach on the bus for his first day.
Anyway, I liked what you said about not meeting your wife in your ward but needing to be there anyway. It's like a holding cell... But really, I think a good part of life is just waiting. And I think you should be grateful for those times when the going is on flat ground and you're just walking and looking all around and stopping for a drink. Turn your head and look how far you've climbed! It's quite a view. Enjoy the breather, because there will always be more trials later.
And since we only get tried with the things that are hard for us, the next time something like this comes up you'll be all like, "It's cool, I've dealt with way worse, bring it on. You call this a storm?" And even though you might still puke or have a loose bowel, you'll just do it and move on.
I don't know, Rob. I don't see you so much in a holding cell, but in specific place at a specific time for a specific reason. I know, at least for me, I spend a lot of my time waiting for the next great thing to happen and I miss whatever I should be enjoying at the moment. I wait for Mikayla to be potty trained, or for Rachel to be baptized, or for Megan to start school and I waste so much of my life waiting for something wonderful to happen that I miss the wonderful moments along the way.
I guess I don't see you in the single's ward just to wait until you find a wife, but to learn all you can and enjoy as many things as you can. As wonderful as being married is, there are a lot of wonderful experiences out there and if you just sit and wait for someone to complete you, you could miss out on so much!
I just read the book Penelope that was based on the screenplay for the movie. It was about this same thing. Penelope was cursed with a pig nose and only by being loved by "one of her kind" could she be rid of the curse. So her parents hid her in her house for 20 years and she missed out on all those wonderful experiences she could have had. As it turns out, as soon as she accepted herself and loved herself regardless of the pig nose, the curse was broken. Her worth had nothing to do with a prince charming that would ride in and love her, the magic came when she could love herself.
Anyway, this is a really long post, sorry! Good luck with school! I always loved the first day of school, not that I didn't get anxious and sick, but I loved that it was the only day of the year when nothing was due. I wasn't behind, I wasn't late turning in assignments. It was nice.
Thanks for the post! Glad to hear you are doing better. You honestly seem to be happier than you have in a long, long time and I'm so proud of you for putting forth the effort to make a difference in your life. You're truly an inspiration to me! Thanks!
I wonder if you are supposed to meet your wife there, but she just hasn't moved into the ward yet. Like, if God gave you the feeling to look for a wife now you might start looking when she isn't there and force the issue with the wrong person. I bet at some point that feeling will come, or else the feeling to move somewhere else. We don't focus on that of course, but we never let the thought move to far to the backs of our minds. We know all the answers we just need to give them time to surface.
Robert i don't think it is a fair statement to say that you have learned to turn your life over to the Lord the last two months. I say that not to be rude but to tell you that it is easy to forget your spiritual herritage. You have been prepared for this life experience a long time ago. Perhaps I need to re-read your comment, because I know you have found more joy in your life these past few months and I belive that it is because of your willingness to be the person the lord wants you to become. Maybe I just needed to hear myself say that because I struggle with happyness too. I am married, with children.
Sometimes I think we become so worked up about needing to know the plan that we forget to just do what it is we are asked to do first.
What great, insightful comments from everyone. I'm always so impressed with the compassion and understanding everyone offers and comforted that we all face many of the same struggles. I've been thinking about Heather's comment on always waiting for something good to happen and wondered how that might be for our next poem -
what have I missed while I've waited on life - or something like that. Anyway, great post - great comments.
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