The Wishing Post

So, I wish I had something fun to talk about. I dunno, just wanted to thank everyone for the fun camping trip. It was fun to see "everyone" playing games with us, but I wish we could have had more involvement. I know it did my heart good to play and laugh. I hope everyone had fun. I sure enjoyed playing with the kids.
I was late for my therapy today. Got lost in my work and lost track of time, but I made it. She's so funny sometimes. She's always so excited about my accomplishments, more excited than me probably. She's like one of those friends that always has something good to say and a hand to lend. We didn't seem to click today, however. I reported about my experiment with "Robert Fun", as she calls it. Yes, the fun I had up at the camp was called "Robert Fun" because it's the type of fun that I like to have. I worry a lot of times with ward activities that they (the other ward members) will want me to have their type of fun, and I won't like their type of fun. So she told me to have Robert Fun and then even if nobody else joins me I'll still have a good time. Sounds like it's worth a try. So I practiced on you all, I hope you don't mind, but it seemed like some of you had fun with me too, so I suppose it was worth it. It has been fun trying to get to the root of my problems and struggles. I'm learning to be able to look back at hard times to the very emotions and thoughts and feelings and images to find my motivations. Fear is a big one, fear of the unknown, even in the smallest sense. But, even with all my faults, I think I like me, at least the me that I remember. I do like to have fun, and I do like being close to people, and getting to know people is worth the hassle. Just hard to remind myself of that.
Anyways, I'm interested to hear how you all are doing, your insights, suggestions, things you've tried that have worked for you.

Good times great oldies.

Must be time to post again I suppose, eh? Well, let's see. I would like to report on the pleasant events that I was able to accomplish this last week. First, I made my bed EVERY day. Yup, that's right! Helped a lot too :) What else? Prayed, talked to old friends, received compliments, participated in a lively activity, played with animals, practiced the guitar, got to bed early 2 nights in a row, attended church, wore something special, laughed, saw a sunset, and read the scriptures. Wow! What a great week! Didn't realize till now how many of those things I've done in the last week. hm.
So I had another session today. We worked on anxiety. It was pretty good. I left the literature out in the car but it was interesting to look back over the last week and pinpoint exactly when and how I was anxious and what the results were and why. One thing I've been learning really well is how to pay attention to my own emotions. It's so easy for me to just go through the motions of life and not realize how I got there. Know what I mean? I'm slowly making progress, and it feels good. I honestly do feel like the Lord has been blessing me these last 5 or 6 weeks, I don't see any other way to explain it. I've learned to have more faith, and use faith and repentance. I heard a GREAT quote on Sunday. It goes something like "Repentance is not giving something up and never doing it again, but a daily effort to turn your life over to the Lord." It hit me really hard at the time that yeah, failure happens, and it's going to happen in one form or another the rest of my life. But the Lord doesn't care about that, He already knows, He has already paid that price, He just wants me to try every day. He wants me to learn before I die. Kinda comforting. Thanks for all of your continued support and love. I'm so excited to go camping with all of you!! What a great time to relax, stare at the fire, sing songs, make smores, fish and sleep. Beautiful thing, camping. I guess that's all I've got to say. I hope by next week I can learn a few more things and meet a few new people. :) Ta.