"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. amen."
That's the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. I like it, especially the first part. I've thought a lot about these phrases over the last few months. What things do I worry about? What, of those things, can I do anything about? What, of those things, can I do anything about right now? If I can do something, then I practice doing it, and if I can't, I practice letting it go. 1 a.m. is a good time for this because there is nothing I can do at 1 a.m. about anything yet I lay awake worrying about things. My therapist and I worked on relaxation this week. She lent me some meditation cd's and I've gotta say I really like them. There is one, oh my goodness, that is the sounds of a storm in the distance. I imagine green, rolling hills with dark clouds and thunder echoing from hill to hill. So I've been practicing listening to them as I go to sleep and it really helps me stop worrying about things. She also talked me into buying a teddy bear. Yeah yeah, laugh it up. He's a cute little bear and he does a remarkable job of reminding me that it's ok to let go of things and just sleep at night. I haven't, as of yet, found a good way to get myself to get OUT of bed in the mornings though so if anyone has any good suggestions for that, let me know.
How has everyone been doing on their practicing? Found anything yet? It really is remarkable how much can be done. I set up home teaching appointments this month and wasn't even afraid to call, well, not as much as usual. A couple weeks ago I noticed something, I don't think I'm depressed any more. It's been 11 years since I've felt so good about life and everything. That's a dang long time. Granted, I still have moments... but moments compared to days... weeks.... months..? I'll take it. I owe it to the Lord and the faith and prayers of you all, honestly. I could never thank any of you enough.
Till next time.
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2 comments:
That's an awesome feeling to not be depressed anymore. Everyone feels low sometimes, but I'd say any more than a couple days in a row is not normal. Or not healthy. It's probably the norm, at least in Utah. And it's funny how it's such a gradual process. And how easy it is for somehow else to say, "Just snap out of it." I'm really proud of you for making it through and learning how to prevent it in the future (hopefully). You're amazing, I hope you know, and you'll be much stronger in the future. I know that for sure. Love ya.
I always enjoy your posts. They always give me a new perspective and make me consider my own feelings and emotions. I have been 'practicing' reading (with real intent) my scriptures. Quite often I just go through the motions to say that I've read. But, as I've practiced and applied the scriptures to me - I've come across some interesting insights. I need to practice so many things. Again, thanks for sharing and teaching us all again. Love ya.
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