Posting time again I'm headed out with all my friends.... (that's the opening line of a Jewel song, modified) Hello all once again. Thought I would write and update things. First I'll be flying to Arizona with Russ on the 23rd. Should be fun, hot, but fun. We got the whole trip to 200 a person. Second, ummm, I guess that's all that's new really. So I failed my homework assignment on finding infinite worth. I fasted for it on Sunday (does saying what you fast for make it not come true?) to learn about/feel infinite worth. I can't say as though I received an answer really. I did come across a couple things that caught my attention. In the July Ensign on page 33 there is a quote by Elder Marvin J. Ashton that says "To be in control of your life, to be a success regardless of your situation as a single, I recommend you come to know your Father in Heaven. Come to love Him. Always remember that He loves you and will give you guidance and support if you will but give Him the chance. Include Him in your decision making. Include Him in your heartaches and heartbreaks. Include Him when you take inventory of your personal worth." and then quotes alma 34:32. I had never really considered that before. I don't know of any quote really that would speak directly to me more than this quote. I dunno, I guess I'm still working on it. I'm glad to see our family interacting so much more now. I'm glad that we've all started sharing more and getting to know each other better. I'm also glad that I'm learning some good strategies for coping with stress and anger and hurt feelings and criticism, by mostly being aware of what I'm feeling and noticing patterns in thoughts as they relate to moods and actions. What a wonderful thing. I can't say I'm happy all the time, but I can say that I've come a long way in the last 3 months. I can't say that I love myself most of the time, but I can say that I'm learning how to do that. Woah, deja vu. I've seen this before... so weird.. everything from the quote to Heather's chocolate chip cookie recipe. Freaky. Anyways, Have a great week everyone.
2 comments:
It's a roll of the dice
I've never thought twice
About the way
I've been spending my time
Trying my guts out
For every dime
Who's never felt like this? This is a great Jewel song. Here's another one that helped me out a lot when I was stuggling like you.
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend you strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a life uncommon
I've heard you anguish
I've heard you hearts cry out
We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out
set down you chains, until only faith remains
Set down you chains
Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
there is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give
To live
And lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead...a life uncommon
It loses a lot without the music, but I'm sure you're singing it in your head. I thought I had to be really really good and the best at every aspect of my life in order to make God proud. But I didn't need to make Him proud in order for Him to love me, which is what I really wanted. I was lending all my strength to this impossible idea of having to earn every blessing one by one by being really really good all the time. Not that being good isn't a good idea, just that it's not necessary to make God love you; He loves you anyway.
Wonderful thoughts and insights (both of you). Beautiful, stirring words. Marvelous quote. Thanks for sharing who you are and what you've learned and accomplished with all of us. You guys are amazing.
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