Assertive

For the first time in my life I was able to describe myself as assertive. Awesome, I know. It's been dealing with my ex girlfriends this last few months. Also, I now have a goal to lose 25 lbs by my birthday. I figure 25 lbs will be a good amount, considering the first 10 lbs is just water. I'm already off to a really good start, one full day with excercise and eating right. Now, just 2.5 more months to go. 25 lbs is really only half of my goal, I'd like to lose around 50, but I figure that 25 will be a good kickstart. In other news, stuff happens..... and things..... with the stuff. So that's good. (I don't know either) I have been to the driving range a couple times the past couple weeks. I love being out in the sunshine, and I really love imagining people's faces on the ball right before I smash the crap out of it. That's fun AND rewarding. Plus it's good excercise and I've noticed that it really works my core, all good things. Not only that, but to be able to afford to go to the driving range once a week I have to give up eating out for two meals, so the benefits are two-fold. We have a home-teaching blitz again tonight. It should be fun. My companion luckily set up 2 appointments for us tonight, and the old eq president wants me to help him visit someone in between my appointments so it should be a great night. Hopefully we don't all get sick with all this crap in the air today though, my goodness. Well, I guess that's enough randomness for today. I hope everyone is doing well and if you ever want to go to the driving range, hiking, fishing or to the temple PLEASE CALL ME!! You have a standing "I'd love to go" from me, so it wouldn't even be a call to invite me, just a call to let me know what time we're going. Other than that, have a great conference weekend! :)

Happy Pi day!

Several things on my mind today.
First, I'm done venting about Emily so I can open this back to the public. (I've deleted all those posts in case you're wondering what I'm talking about)
Second, as some of you have heard I have a new calling. They released me from the elders quorum and three hours later the stake exec sec called to set up an appointment to meet with a member of the presidency. Not really that excited. Anyways, so now I am an assistant ward clerk. This makes two years in a row that I got to stand and be sustained at ward conference. Actually, they read my name twice today on accident. The calling is going well. It's really more of my type of work, kind of behind the scenes, important stuff. It has already been kinda fun working more closely with the bishopric, getting to see them out of the routine stuff. Luckily our ward clerk does an amazing job. The kid is on the ball. He reorganized the entire filing system, well, the way he described it wasn't much of a system to reorganize. I got to count all of the tithing last week and this week, which was fun. You know how I love to count and organize. And so far there haven't been any discrepancies in the totals, something that I hear doesn't happen too often.
Third, things seem to be going pretty well. We had a fun bachelor party for Dan Ellsworth (new guy) from work. It was a blast. We took him out to Wendover and just had fun. My favorite part was when we were walking from the montego back to the rainbow and we pretended to have australian accents and russ was just lighting and dropping matches from one of the free matchbooks at one of the casinos and we just laughed and joked around. It has been a long time since I've been able to have just good open fun. We laughed a lot on that trip.
Well, hopefully I'll be able write a bit more often now. I've learned a lot this last month in therapy about my feelings being important, even though some people would have me believe otherwise. It has helped me realize that I deserve better than I let myself think, and I can do better than this. So, I'm starting over, again, and surrounding myself with people that actually care about me and can help me instead of judge me, because I'm worth it.

New Poetry Topic

Hey, someone suggest a new poetry topic. I feel like writing again but don't feel like I've had any good poetry ideas lately. Thanks

Nothing to say

I don't really have anything to say really, but things are going well. I privatized my blog again, as you've probably already figured out. Emily informed me a few days ago that she had discovered my blog somewhere around 3 weeks ago and I figured it must be time to lock the door on it again. I don't mind that she knows about me, I wish she had told me, but I'm glad it prevented an otherwise awkward conversation. This will be good I think, as now I have somewhere to talk about her. I really like her, maybe even ... well... We've seen each other every day for the last 10 days and have plans to see each other tomorrow. We've also been in somewhat of a fight yesterday and today.... but enough about that. I should be released tomorrow, I'm hoping. They're supposed to have called new guys for the job already so I imagine they will set them apart tomorrow. We have a meeting at 7:30 tomorrow morning as well, kind of a stake priesthood thing. I don't know who ever decided it was a good thing that 730 on any morning is a good time to get single young guys to come talk about the gospel, but they were wrong. Yes, they do find out who the more faithful or diligent ones are, but I feel it is counterproductive to have all the more faithful or diligent ones sleeping through church because they had to get up 3 hours early. Just a thought. I'm bitter today and just have no ambition at all. I slept till after 5 this afternoon, that was nice. I finally found my mp3 player and charger to be able to listen to some relaxation music while I try to sleep. The cool part is that I don't remember listening for more than about 10 seconds before I'm asleep, so that's awesome. I've always had a hard time falling asleep. anyway, just venting mostly.

WTJ? (What the January??)

I can't believe it's January already!! Insane, seriously! It's great not having to go back to school. OH, on that note, it appears I've graduated Cum Laude. For me, I guess it's not much of a feat, just means the top 10% in the Humanities department that year. I think I've always been in the top 10% though. But, just one more thing to add to my personal resume. It feels good to finally finish something big. Most big things in my life I've given up on: mission, scouts, learning "waterfall" on the piano, and many other personal goals and the whatnot. So I'm glad to have finished.
So, I'm pretty much dating Emily by now. She's amazing, really. Well, she's a lot like me, and I think I'm amazing, so by default she is amazing too. It surprises me how much we have in common sometimes. AND, she likes Calvin and Hobbes and country music (sometimes). She's an accountant, and a self-proclaimed nerd. I think the only draw back is she is a byu fan/graduate, and claims to not be musically inclined, though I haven't seen that yet. We went out a few times the last 6 months, but then we went out around Christmas, and on New Years and then 3 times since then, she met you all yesterday and I'm meeting her family on Sunday. It just amazes me how quickly it happened. It's like on "hitch" when he says something like "one moment you're just living your life, and the next you wonder how you ever lived without them." Now, I don't know where it will go, but I know where it could go, and that's cool by me.
Other news, I should be released from the elders quorum presidency in the next couple of weeks. It has been quite the adventure. There have been a lot of areas that I've done well in, and some other areas that I still struggle with, but on the whole it's been a great experience. I don't know how the EQP does it though. He works way harder than I do. However, singing one hymn a day I've now finished both the English and Spanish hymn books as part of my daily scripture study, so that's about 550 days in a row (or close to it). I've stopped memorizing for a while, but I think I'll get back on that soon. Alright, I think that's plenty for today. Thanks for reading, y'all are awesome!

December Update

Feels like time to blog again. Things are going swimmingly. I finished and turned in my final final paper todat at 6:33 pm. I am officially done with school work indefinitely. To celebrate I went to sconecutters and got dinner and a peanut butter cup shake then watched "A Christmas Story" and went to bed early! Unfortunately, now it's 12:45 and I'm wide awake and have heartburn, but it was worth it. In other news, I finished watching all 11 seasons of MASH again. I just absolutely love that show and it amazes me how touching it can be sometimes, and I'll just sit at work listening to it and have tears roll down my cheeks, that's how good it is.
I have been reading a lot of conference talks lately, just from this last conference. There are so many great talks. One thing I have found in a lot of the talks is the idea that "things like this are common in the church." They're talking about revelation, or feeling the spirit, or those cool stories Pres. Monson always tells about being in the right place at the right time to bless someone's life. There were several great talks on following the spirit and the love and law of God. One talk from the priesthood session really stuck out to me. It was the first one by Elder Ballard about fathers and sons. It was awesome to be sitting with dad and it made me realize how awesome dad is. I don't know the exact number but I was realizing that for most of my life dad has been in some leadership calling or another. I don't think I've ever heard him complain about church service, he just humbly does his duty. You are all aware that I've done a lot of stupid things and dad was the bishop I got to confess things to before my mission and he never showed an ounce of anything but love and concern. There was another talk in the priesthood session about being ready when the calls comes, by Pres. Eyring. Dad has always been that example for me. Whenever, whomever, wherever... doesn't matter, he'll be there if he can to help. So, thanks dad for your amazing example, for your years of sacrifice and service.
Well I guess that will be all for now. I hope everyone is taking the time to find areas for growth in our lives whether it's building new relationships or strenghtening old ones, or just coming to know the savior better, I hope we're all working on something. I don't know what life will bring the next couple months, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm hopeful for the future and I'm hopeful for your futures. Our family has really grown the last couple years, matured. I was noticing at Sunday dinner that I can't imagine a better family, that 20 people can get together and not have any fights or serious contention and could sing carols and hymns together. I just can't imagine a happier time. So thank you all for helping make this Christmas season memorable already. Know that I pray for you individually and sincerely care for each of you. Merry Christmas.

Open invitation

Hey all, it's time for another poetry topic. This time it's going to be open to everyone with no contest or voting. The theme is simply Christmas, so whatever Christmas means to you, or should me, or used to mean etc. And, (I love starting sentences with and) just post them in your own blogs as soon as you get them written so that we can all read them throughout the season. I would encourage the kids to write one as well, or if they don't want to write a poem poem then have them draw a picture or tell you a story or whatever you would like to do, heck, they're your kids. I think this will be a fun one, I don't think I've ever written about Christmas, or really ever even thought about what Christmas means to me. Good luck, I'm anxious to see what we all can come up with. Don't be afraid to write, to stretch yourself a little bit. Take your time if you need to, start with some basic ideas, like a lump of clay, and then slow mold it into what you would like to say. I've written a lot of cigarette ash trays in my life, but every now and then a bowl or a vase will appear so you just never know. Write two or three, submit them all. Maybe we'll make a book out of all of them eventually. What are you still reading this for? Go write!!